Murphy's parenting laws

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Unmatched method

Here's what to do if your child is behaving in an undesirable way:

1. First try to reason with him.

2. Then try to ignore his trick.

3. Next, try to threaten him.

4. Then try the punishment.

5. Finally, when all these methods fail, tell your child that his act made a lasting impression on you, and buy him a gift as a reward.


The very day you forget to grumble at your child for behaving in an undesirable way, his misbehavior will disappear.

How to be consistent?

The easiest way to stay consistent in parenting is to constantly and systematically lose your temper.

Old rope trick

The larger piece of rope you give them, the more rope they will ask for.

The law of passive resistance

1. The more beneficial it is for them, the more they resist.

2. The fairer your decision, the more they whine and complain.

3. The later something reaches them, the more stubborn they remain in their opinion.

4. The more you need their help, the more often they will skim.

Reverse action law

1. The more tired you are, the more unbearable they will behave.

2. The more you need silence, the more terrible they make noise.

3. The neater you are, the more lax they are.

Reverse judgment

The worse your mood, the worse their mood.

The rule of respect

1. If you are unable to convince them, tell them that this is the current rule.

2. The only rule really works: "Because I said so."

Parenting Command Law

The only parental command that your child will not respond with disobedience is a command that the child did not hear.

Maxim about parental mistakes

You won't learn much from the mistakes you made with your first child, because every child is completely different. And with each you will make a whole new bunch of mistakes.

The monkey sees - the monkey repeats doctrine

Children carefully mold themselves in the image and likeness of their parents. They copy their every mistake, weakness and failure.


If you want documented proof of your worst mistakes as a parent, listen to your own children playing with dolls.

Dangerous threat

Never tell your offspring: "Wait, you will have children of your own" ... you may not have to wait too long.

The futility of spanking

When your little guy (suddenly) gets bigger than you, you'll have to come up with some alternative to flip flops.

Aphorism about good manners

1. Your child will start flushing the toilet and closing the refrigerator door from the very day he flies out of his nest. (The dorm roommate will probably kill him if he doesn't.)

2. Your child will begin to apologize for burping on the very same day he first tries to teach his own child good manners.

The paradox of good manners

1. Those with whom they love and go on dates do not pay attention to their disgusting manners.

2. The manners of those with whom they go on dates and twist love are just as disgusting.

Watch the video: Home for the Holidays - SNL

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